I Can't Stop the Rain

The ink hits the paper mimicking my tears.

Slowly bleeding into every fibre of the page, as if it were my own blood seeping into every vessel and veins.

It paints a sea of words and phrases that I can no longer decipher, concealed in the very grain that is intended to illuminate its meaning.
 
The pen taking the role of the traitor enslaves it, threating to cut off its supply.
 
Suffocating and scolding it for being so fluid and drippy.
 
Arguing that the ink needs protecting as it’s so inconsistent.

The ink pays it no mind it was born to stain.
 

It cannot stop the rain!

Holiday

"Holiday, celebrate .If we took a holiday yeah .Took some time to celebrate ,Just one day out of life
It would be ,It would be so nice" Madonna -Holiday

I really need a holiday. I need some time away to get some much needed perspective. I feel stuck in a rut and just need to go somewhere fresh and recuperate. It has been  a really difficult time for me, as of late, so much has been happening that I just want to escape. Run away for a few weeks or even a month. Doesn't matter whether it's somewhere sunny or cold as long as I am out of the country - chasing the blues away.

Here are my favourite places that I want to visit:

• USA - New york to be specific. I love New York. Everyone knows that.
• Brasil - Hot country with Hot people, what more could you want.
• Puerto Rico/ Cuba - I have Latin fever. I don't mind which one as both are as appealing as each other.
• Zambia - to experience the Victoria Falls. My friend won't stop going on about it, now she has me wanting to go.
• Thailand - All the Gap year kids go there, I want to see what all the fuss is about.
• Barbados/ Jamaica - I have friends from both countries who want to take me around their islands. 

So there you have it, my list.  I hope to go to at least one this year. But first I need to stack up the money.
I need racks on racks on racks, racks.

Death Be Not Proud

A fitting tribute to all those who have lost their lives. RIP Whitney Houston. None of us have immortality , therefore we will continue to see these tragic losses everyday, it comes with being human. Death is not the end, our spirit still lives on.

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Death, be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou are not so; For those whom thou think'st thou dost overthrow Die not, poor Death, nor yet canst thou kill me. From rest and sleep, which but thy pictures be, Much pleasure; then from thee much more must flow, And soonest our best men with thee do go, Rest of their bones, and soul's delivery. Thou'art slave to fate, chance, kings, and desperate men, And dost with poison, war, and sickness dwell, And poppy'or charms can make us sleep as well And better than thy stroke; why swell'st thou then? One short sleep past, we wake eternally, And death shall be no more; Death, thou shalt die. John Donne

Dear G.O.D

Are you there God? It's me Jacyra. Can you hear me?

God I love you above all things yet sometimes I find myself questioning my love for you. I know that you're a loving God who is all seeing and all powerful, but if you're all of these things and so much more, then can't you see the struggle in the world and deliver us.

I can't pretend to understand all your trials and tribulations or even at times your loving words. They leave me perplexed and fear of eternal damnation soon follows.
Reading the Bible challeneges me. You say 'ask and it shall be given' but if I ask to be wealthy then is this statement not inherently flawed, as 'the poor shall inherit the kingdom of heaven'. Should I then be happy that I am broke , as richness awaits me in Heaven?

I'm a believer....... However, sometimes it's so hard to believe when things constantly seem to be going awry. I feel like the unluckiest girl in the world. I pray that you touch my heart every night and that you feel my spirits with joy and happiness, yet I walk away feeling numb. Am I saying the wrong prayers? or is my heart simply not pure enough?

Help me understand you better Lord. open my mind to your words and action. Feel me with compassion and wisdom. Help me see the errors of my ways and lead me to the path of righteousness.

Right now I am lost but I know that you will find me in the sea of faces again. Hurry up though, as I feel like am slipping away into obscurity. Bring me back to the warmth of your bosom, nurture me with the gospel and the body of Christ. Warm up your vessel and channel your abdunance, for I am here to serve you.

Dear God I can't pretend that I have always known you but I love you for blessing me with the people around me. Thank you for my life, my health and most importantly my sanity. Thank you for sticking by me through the torrential rain. Because when it rains it pours. Thank you for believing in me. All I ask is that you help me maintain my faith and continue to love me through thick and thin, in sickness and health, till death do us part.

Thank you.

Freedom is Coming Tomorrow

Ever heard the expression ‘Freedom is Coming Tomorrow’, like Sarafina said ‘Get Ready Prepare for Your Freedom’.

They teach us that we are free, yet how can we truly be free when we are forever constrained, bound, trapped, coerced to live by their rules.

Governed by their culture, driven by misconception, abhorred by their people.

Years of struggle and toil and still we are taught that we are beneath them.

You may think I’m talking about the white man,

But you would be wrong.

Once again your prejudice shines through.

But what I’m I talking about.

Why don’t you tell me?

If we were really free.

Truly free to express our individualities and views.

Then free your mind and tell me this.

Why did you think this poem was addressed to the white man and not to you?

by Jay Bee

Soulmate!

Winter time sure is lonely, got me feeling like  Sister Souljah's book enduring one of 'The Coldest Winter Ever'...... Alone.

Now there's nothing worng with being single, it's a great opportunity to learn about oneself and grow as a person. But really - How much growing up do I really need to do?

Now and again all you really want is someone to hold you, provide you with security and love that your girlfriends and family just cannot meet. Someone to share intimate thoughts and other activities with.

A Ying to your Yang

That one special guy/girl (depending on which way you flow) that makes your heart flutter, has you speaking in tongues and declaring your undying love for each other. 

A Soulmate!

The One!

I guess the month of Love has me feeling all romantic and emotional.  I have grown up  reading fairytales and romance novels which have lulled me into a false sense of security; wishing for 'true loves kiss' and 'my knight in shining armour', pining for 'The One' - it's no wonder my hormones are all over the place.

 I am in Love with being in Love.

But like my girl Natasha said " Who doesn't long for someone to hold , who knows how to love you without being told. Can somebody tell me why I'm on my own, if there's a soulmate for everyone". 

I feel you girl, this is one of life's greatest conundrum.

Love is important but there is more to life than just this one abstract emotion. So until my 'Knight' comes into town, i'm going to Live it up and Enjoy the fruits of my youth.

Say What????????

Ever catch yourself saying some weird expressions of phrases that you picked up from your friends or some random individuals and it gets you scratching your head thinking HUH? Where did that come from? Damn now I can't stop saying them. GRRRRR. Well here I come to add some new phrases for your dictionary courtsey of friends, family and the world wide web.
Enjoy!

1. Hell 2 Da No! - self explanatory it just means NO not going to happen or I don't think so.
2. Bargain Kama Sutra - when you bag yourself a bargain. I know its random, I have very random friends.
3. Fuck a Duck - now am not sure where I picked this one from but its one of my go to phrases whenever I am angry or upset or whatever
4. Thousandaire - Thanks to Luvvie (click on her name to check out her hilarious blog). Before you become a millionaire you need to be a thousandaire.
5. Nignorance -self explanatory not sure where I got it from
6. Am I Dumb - used when someone is trying to take you for a mug.
7. That's whats Up! - Amercanism, gotta love the Yanks
8. No Homo, Pause - use this when you're complimenting someone of the same sex i.e "girl you look  good no homo"
9. Swag - oldie but a goodie. Swag can literally mean anything you want it to mean, be it good or bad.
10. Fine Boy/Girl No Pimple (delete as appropraite) - for a sexy brother or sister you may come across or even yourself.