NEW BLOG ALERT - www.naturalgirlinthecity.com

Alas dear friends, the time has come for us to part.

I have said goodbye to this blog and have created a new one over here  - CLICK HERE

Please come over and say hello.

This blog will remain available as I do like the rambles and who knows they may have actually been of use to someone.

Thank you for your support.

Thanks,
Jay Bee over and out

Natural Hair - From Transitioning all the way through to the Big Chop

Hey Guys,

Sorry about being MIA. Life happened. 

After all "life is what happens while you are busy making other plans". Thanks John Lennon.

Nevertheless, I am back to let you know that I have started writing articles on natural hair for Nu People Magazine . Nu people is a bi-monthly lifestyle, paper, digital and online publication featuring  articles and discussion on a wide array of topics from business, careers, arts, music, love, family and community relationships  and much much more. Check it out. Definitely worth a read.

Anyways, shameless plug coming your way in 3..2..1:

Here are some of the articles I have written.Please like, share and comment:

1) Treat your hair with natural remedies:  http://nupeoplemagazine.com/treat-your-hair-with-natural-remedies/

2)Tips for the big chop:  http://nupeoplemagazine.com/tips-for-your-big-chop/

3) Moisture, Moisture, Moisture :  http://nupeoplemagazine.com/moisture-moisture-moisture-keeping-dry-hair-at-bay/

Please read and enjoy.

Thank you Kindly :)

Someone once told me the grass is much greener.... on the other side

The grass is much greener on the other side! or so I thought. Being on the other side has taught me a very valuable lesson:  Life will not always turn out how you want it to!  

We have all been there, we have reached for the stars, arms beckoning, imagining how glorious and fruitful our lives will be, only to be hit smack bang in the face with reality : We don’t always get what we want! It is with this realisation that I find myself sitting alone on a park bench, wondering why my life has turned out the way it has. Did I take the wrong turn somewhere? If so, where?

I sit gazing onto the field with the sun on my face and a dog yapping at my feet. I feel scared, alone and insecure. Where do I turn? Which road should I take? What do I do now?

All these questions are swirling in my head, threatening to drive me insane.

I look at those around me and see them achieving and striving and I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy.

I aimed high, followed my hearts desire to a certain extent,  but to no avail.  That path didn’t work for me, but that doesn’t mean it won’t work for you.

All I can do is hope, hope and pray that tomorrow will be a better day; that the sun won’t go down on me. All I can do is hope for a better tomorrow!             

                                                                                         

****** All That Glitters ******

I long to write stories about rainbows, sunshine and stars and find myself swirling in the mythical light of happiness.

However, I would just be deluding myself because I know that ‘All that glitters isn’t gold.’

I want to bask in the warm glow of my niece’s laughter, my nephew’s wit and their childlike innoncence. Surrender myself to their naviety and their fearless approach. Then off home I go to immerse myself in a warm bath of milk and honey, purging my temple from this light. But alas ‘All that glitters isn’t gold’.

Gold is a rarity these days.  Turn on the TV and you will see all these cash for gold adverts highlighting a turning point in the tides. A swift annihiliation of the sparkly precious metal which makes my fingers glow.

I want to run back in time, -way back in time when candy floss, pink and my little pony dominated my world....

Who am I kidding?

Gold was as lost to me then as it is now.

My precious. 

The one ring to unite as all.

But hey ‘all that glitters isn’t gold’.

Nevertheless, I will still live my life like its golden!

That’s What Makes You Beautiful

‘The sun is on my side and takes me for a ride. I smile to the sky. I know I will be alright’ – Pocketful of sunshine (Natasha Bedingfield)

1.       Laughter – Unhibitted, freeing, comforting, piercing my armour- soothing my soul from within.

2.       Breathing – Waiting to exhale. Slow warm breath heats my skin- in out in out. I’m still alive.

3.       Touch - The feel of skin on skin, leaving fingerprints on my heart, making a blueprint of my soul. Tingling sensation. Oh what a feeling. Embracing another heart - letting me know that I will never walk alone.

4.       Attitude- each step taken marks another turn in the road with every stride strengthening my resolve. Keep walking. Keep hoping.

5.       Scars –Imprint themselves deeply on my skin. Fading away with time. Reminds me that nothing is permanent. My scars are me. 

This is what makes me beautiful :)

Home Alone

Evertime I step foot in the door i’m controlled by my fears. As the door slams shut and the outside world disappears my Fear and I go head to head in the ring.

Fear jeers at me, pummeling me into the ground, mocking my plans and dreams, goading me into giving up -exclaiming that I’ll never succeed!

Fear morphs itself into failure, trapping me in a votex which I can’t seem to escape from and slowly sucks me into its deep abyss.

At least when i’m outside Fear is kept at bay, swallowed up by the bright city lights and by the racket of passers by. It offers me respite for a little while.

Nevertheless I have to make my way home. I can’t escape forever.

 I find myself alone. 

These four walls refuse to give me solace. I think and think and tear away at myself; giving into the doubts that haunt me every night.

Once again, Fear creeps into my heart and embeds itself effortlessly into my soul. The word ‘Failure’ springs out and once again the battle commences.

Maybe soon I’ll escape it. Maybe one day I’ll stand up to it. But at this very moment I give into my fears 

and Failure finds itself branded upon my head.

Go Shorty it's your Birthday!

My birthday is vast approaching and to say that I am dreading it is an understatement. Yes, I should be thankful that another year will be added to my life and all that jazz but I’m not properly living my life.

No. I’m not the un-dead, pretty sure that a pulse beats firmly under my skin. However, like Drake said “everybody dies but not everybody lives” – how true a statement is this.

There’s so many plans that I had made, so many goals that I should’ve reached at this stage in my life and many have yet come to pass. I am still battling and striving to make them come true but as the days turn to weeks and the weeks turn to months, I feel like waving my white flag and just surrender.

This birthday is arriving too quickly – I’ve hardly had time to catch my breath. I know I have many things to be thankful for and I’m in a much better position than most- it’s just that I want better for myself. And there is nothing wrong with that.

So as midnight approaches on the 10th of June – I will be a year older and maybe a little bit wiser. Let me sit in my room with my bottle of Rosé listening to slow jams and reminisce about good times

Cheers I’ll drink to that!

To Fro or not to Fro?

Lovely people I have recently been featured on Amu.dat's lovely blog, documenting my  journey from relaxed hair to natural. I also write about the products I've been using during my transition which may help others on the journey.

Check out the article HERE and make sure you read Amu Dat a very interesting fashion blog about African fashion.

Read and enjoy. 

Why I write!

“Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self” Cyril Connelly

Reasons why I write:

1.       As a form of escapism – I write mainly to escape my troubles and woes; I find that when I’m in pain or feeling low; my writing is at its best. Sounds tragic, but sometimes the best works in art comes from channeling some sort of pain. When I pick up a pen I know that magic will happen. I will be whisked away to a far away land where my problems and anxiety will not follow. Yes, they shape what I write at times, but with my pen at my side I become invincible. I am untouchable. My sidekick and I understand each other like siamese twins joined at the heart.  Writing enables me to go anywhere I want, I can do anything, nothing is impossible. I can shine!

2.       To vent – This goes hand in hand with number one – most of the time I use my writing to vent, I take out all my frustrations on the page until the pen bleeds. It allows me to say the things I wouldn’t dare say out loud for fear of rebuttal or reprisal. I can unleash my wrath for all to see disguised in literary prose and colourful language. It comforts me by giving me a much needed outlet for release. Writing is my opium! My Redbull - giving me wings to soar high above the sky. Why get high when I can pick my pen and fly?

3.       To create – When I look back at some of the pieces that I have written I am in awe. In awe, because I cannot believe that I wrote it - my thoughts and feelings are there in living colour. However insignificant some of my past stories may seem to some, to me they are works of art. I may not be Stephen King or Carol Ann Duffy but you know what, I don’t care. I am a creator; my masterpieces are there for all to see. If you buy it, cool, if not then that’s cool too, they still exist - hanging over my mantlepiece. 

4.       Love - I love to write. Simple as that. My pen and I are one. To seperate one from the other would be catastrophic. Writing lives in me and I live for it. It’s a hobby, my passion, my love.   

What do you want to be in the future?

This question seems innocuous enough, relatively harmful even, but really it's a minefield - filled with booby traps ready to cut you up within seconds. It's a strange and puzzling question. One that I have been asked many times and yet, I am still unable to give a concrete answer.

Why should I just limit myself to one particular field, unless it's something really specialised like medicine or engineering, of which neither interests me. I want to do everything!

Maybe this answer is far too broad but I really don't know want I want. I'm a lost sheep.

Yesterday I wanted to be a high flying business women, today I want to be a writer, maybe tomorrow I'll be an actress. The world is my oyster. Isn't this what people say? Then why do so many people want to  box me in.


It is this indecision which has me discombobulated and doubting myself.
Must I really choose? Can't I have it all?

Does anyone really know what they want today let alone tomorrow.

I'm I really alone in this thinking?